Is there such a thing as play date etiquette? Is it just me or is this ANNOYING?! So here is how it went down, please tell me what you think. I ran into a girlfriend I hadn’t seen since high school and couldn’t wait to catch up on all that we’ve missed in each other’s lives. What’s really great is that our little one’s are only a month apart so they could play while we caught up. Sounds like the perfect scenario…however, I didn’t know what I was in for. When I got to her house (we coincidentally live less than a block from one another) her munchkin was sleeping so I put mine down on the toy mat to satisfy her curiosity.
Please note that I am a super germaphob and I can’t stand the thought of her touching another child’s toys–but I decided to bite the bullet and I let her play. (I actually pretended she spit up so I could wipe down the toys she looked interested in, without being rude) About 30 min later my friend’s beautiful son woke up and came out to join the party. About five minutes into their adorable exploration of one another (nothing cuter than two kids gouging each others eyes out and sharing open-mouthed kisses) I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach. The what-did-I-just-do feeling, like I had taken the flu bug and personally injected it into my daughter’s arm. First it was the snot, it was all over his face therefore, all over his hands and finally, all over the toys they were sharing. Argh! I think I slightly threw up in my mouth when I realized that the snot and my daughter had officially made contact. Before I even had a chance to recover, the horrid cough began. It seriously sounded like whooping cough, and I wanted to cry. When I asked her if he was sick, she insisted the runny nose was due to “teething” and the cough was “grunting.”
Really? Do I look that naive? It was the final straw when she slyly tried to check for a fever by wiping the baby’s hair back. What did I just expose my precious angel to? How was I supposed to know that my friend’s child was sick? Shouldn’t she have canceled our play date? At least warned me to keep them apart? Suggested that we meet at the park(filtered air!), or go for a walk and keep them in the strollers? These are all things that I do when my child is sick and we have a playdate planned. I at least warn the other mom, suggest we reschedule, and make completely certain that they know what they are risking by coming in contact with my sick children. Now, mind you, the child had a cough/cold, and I am aware that this is not a deadly disease, but I try my best to avoid having a sick child. Especially with two now because we tend to pass that sucker around for weeks before we are all healthy again. On top of that, my daughter has asthma, so any cough-like illness stresses me out to the max. I felt completely responsible for contaminating my daughter! Now, exactly two days later, my daughter wakes up, coughing, sneezing, snotting. So tell me…am I being unreasonable in being a little annoyed? This definitely isn’t a deal breaker for the friendship, but come on, have some consideration. I toyed with the idea of mentioning it to her the next time we talk, but have decided to leave it alone. Ultimately it’s not THAT big of a deal, and not worth causing a rift by any means.
So should I start asking other moms if their children are healthy before we have a playdate? Or isn’t it an unwritten rule to forewarn other moms if your child is spreading the swine flu? Okay, so maybe swine flu is an exaggeration–but you never know…
xo,
Shannon
Co-Founder/CEO of HappyHourMom.com, Freelancer, Internet Marketing Consultant, and Social Media lover. Wife to an amazing husband, mom to two beautiful little girls, and follower of Jesus Christ. I am a Happy Hour Mom…are you?
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Um, I think it’s totally rude that the mother did not warn you that her child was sick before you got there. Our neighbors have a little girl a few months older than our daughter, and anytime they come over, both myself and the other mom are very open in saying, “Hey, my kid has a runny nose, and I think it’s from teething, but wanted to give you the heads up, it may be a cold”. And then we can use our discretion of either keeping the kids apart as much as possible or saying let’s get together another day.
And the fact that your friend tried to play it off like it was nothing was completely inconsiderate. I know kids are going to get sick, but we mother’s need to stick together and help one another out in trying to prevent other kids from becoming sick! And as you mentioned, your daughter has asthma which makes the common cold/cough 10x’s worse – that mom definitely needed to warn you before you got there.