amber | you’ve got mail

Okay, so I was reading my Happy Hour Mom newsletter earlier this week and I came across the article highlighting a mass email. Now I have to admit, it was quite funny, but it did not change my opinion on mass emails. I get the idea of sending cute, inspirational, hilarious little messages to brighten the day of a fellow co-worker, family member or friend. I really do get it, but why is it that we all have that ONE friend who is obsessed. I mean really, do you spend ALL day searching for your next fluffy, ridiculous email to send out to everyone in your Inbox? I stopped filling out surveys and signing up for mailing lists because I truly despise mass emails and worthless tidbits. Am I now going to have to pre-screen my friends before handing out my email address. I don’t feel right asking my girlfriends if they intend on bombarding my account with crap before I give them my contact information, but if that’s what it takes, so be it.  getting a little ridiculous.

If you are anything like me you can’t stand it when you have unread messages in your inbox; they either need to be read, organized, deleted–whatever it takes to get it to say “Inbox (0).” That way any time I login I know immediately if there are new messages that need to be addressed. But now I get a ton of “FW: FW: This made me cry” GARBAGE!! I don’t even click on them, they automatically get deleted. I have a hard enough time responding to my personal and business emails, I don’t have time to send each forward to five friends (including the sender) so that something good will happen to me. If you want to make something good happen, stop sending those stupid emails! And you’d think that the twentieth time you sent me one and I didn’t send it back to you I would get taken off the list.

So you are telling me that God will only bless me if I send your message on to 7 more people? Or that my true love is going to call me in five minutes if I forward your message onto enough people? If God is basing his blessings on email mailing lists we are in big trouble! And don’t even get me started on mass texts. Girlfriend, if you send me one more “junk” text I am going to start sending you a bill. You do realize that every time I open your texts I am getting charged ten cents, right? I keep holding out that you might actually be sending me a “hello” or “let’s grab a coffee” but apparently you hate me and want to make AT&T rich. So take my phone number off the list. Thank you!

Oh, and by the way, you must forward this post to 10 friends, tweet about it, and Facebook it in the next 90 seconds or horrible, terrible, no good, very bad things will happen to you this week.

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