My almost 3 year old has never napped for me. He napped for his childcare provider 3 days a week but after I was let go from my job 8 months ago…he had to stop going there.
He won’t nap but come 4pm he is miserable. He can sometimes fall asleep on the couch or in his highchair…mostly in the car. And I would rather him NOT nap and go to bed easy and tired at 8pm. But I am so exhausted with him and his little brother that I enjoy the break. And it allows me to give a bit of special time to my 5 month old or cook dinner. But he’ll sleep sometimes 2 hours. I know it’s not good to let them sleep after 3pm. I know it’s hard to expect them to be tired and go to bed then at 8pm.
It’s obvious he needs the sleep but won’t nap for me (or grandma)…what should I do…
Continue to not let him nap (which is really tough) and go to bed at 8pm. Or how do I get him to nap at 1pm like most kids.
When your son was napping at childcare there was likely a consistent morning routine, a scheduled time for nap, and a clear message that naptime was non-negotiable.
Of course, the caregiver could not make your child sleep anymore than you can, but she consistently enforced the expectation, he probably even had to lay on a mat or cot. You can do this, too, but provide him a bit more freedom. You can allow him to choose whether he sleeps or not, but insist that he stay in his room and rest.
Let your child know the day before you plan to begin that you are making a change in your daily routine and that everyone is going to have quiet time at 1pm. Spend some time planning a manageable, repeatable, routine together, for example; outside play, lunch, a book and then rest time. Three-year-olds love to be part of planning and cooperating. Use words like “let’s” and “we” and phrases like “working together.” Tell him why rest is good for him – it helps his body and his mind prepare for the rest of the day, so he can stay healthy, learn, and grow.
Remind him at breakfast the next morning that it is the day when you are going to start your new rest plan. Follow the routine you worked out together, thanking him for his input. Take him to his room for quiet time. Suggest, but don’t insist that he lie on his bed with books – maybe he evens wants to read or tell stories to his stuffed animals. Let him know what you will be doing while he rests – resting yourself, reading, or doing chores.
It is likely that your son will come out of his room. If he peaks at you and returns to his room, pretend you didn’t notice. If he addresses you, tell him that quiet time is not over and that he must go back to his room. Walk him back if he is unwilling to go by himself. Tell him if he comes out, again, that you will walk him back without talking to him. Assure him you will come and get him when rest time is over (not less than one hour). Expect that you will have to return him to his room more than once.
The following day remind him, again, of the new routine. Re-cap how things went on day one – “I appreciate that you were so cooperative and rested in your room yesterday,” or “Yesterday you came out several times and didn’t get any rest. If you have trouble staying in your room, today, I will close the door or put up a baby gate. We will start with the door open.”
Your son may or may not sleep, the goal is for him to learn to rest for a time each day. Maintain the 8pm bedtime, unless he resists resting for the majority of the hour. If he gets no rest, put him to bed at 7pm and tell him he is going to bed early because his body did not get the rest it needed to stay healthy. Additionally, you can use a magic phone call, in the afternoon of a resistant day to provide an immediate natural consequence.
Consistency is the key. Be realistic, you know your son’s personality and how likely he is to resist. Hold firm, it may take a whole week, but your calm, clear, firm response will win out and the whole family will be happier for your efforts.
Co-Founder/CEO of HappyHourMom.com, Freelancer, Internet Marketing Consultant, and Social Media lover. Wife to an amazing husband, mom to two beautiful little girls, and follower of Jesus Christ. I am a Happy Hour Mom…are you?
Loading ...
