carolyn | my daughter won’t eat in her high chair, help!

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Several months we moved into a new home. Throughout the chaos, we found ourselves having “picnics” on the floor for a week or so until our dining room table arrived. Ever since then, my daughter refuses to eat in a high chair, booster seat, etc. I find that I’m somewhat successful in getting her to sit in my lap for about five minutes to eat, but then she’s off running around the house until she’s ready for another bite. I don’t know how I let this get so out of control. How do I reinstate the rule of sitting in a chair at the table with her now that this bad habit has developed? I don’t want mealtime to be a struggle, but this situation makes me dread each meal and the idea of even thinking about going out to dinner in a restaurant is unthinkable since she’s not used to being contained.

Cold turkey is your only solution (and I am not referring to the food you use to lure her to the table).  You need to make the high chair the only eating spot – no negotiating for floor, lap, chair, etc. – be sure you are willing to follow-through before you begin or you will only prolong your agony.

You don’t say how old your daughter is, but at any age you can verbally sympathize – “I am so sorry I made this a habit in our house, but now it is time to return to eating in the high chair.”

I imagine that following your acknowledgment, running around the house, whining and resisting will ensue.  Put her food on the table, ready the high chair and sit down to eat your own meal.  Do not coax her to join you.  Do not go off to look for her.  If she does not join you, finish your meal, clean-up your place and save her food (fix something that will keep, the intention is not to punish her with unappetizing food).  Allow her to choose her high chair when she is ready and sit down with her to make her meal pleasant.  Be prepared for her to miss an entire mealtime (or maybe two, depending on the strength of her will).

Remember, do not be punitive, just matter-of-fact.  Keep your tone calm and direct.  Do not be angry with her, you created the problem albeit unwittingly, and she is just being a toddler.

If you are consistent with the use of the high chair, I promise, you will be back to eating in restaurants in no time.

Carolyn Gatzke
Parent Coach
M.A., Human Development

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