carolyn | when your kids say they don’t like you

“I don’t like you” is a common refrain of the three-year-old, quickly replaced at four by “you’re not my friend” and “you’re not coming to my birthday party.”  Preschoolers, who are just beginning to engage in reciprocal relationships, wield this power over their peers and attempt to wield it over their parents.  Don’t take it personally.

I’m guessing your daughter uses this phrase when you are limiting her behavior in some way.  At that moment she probably doesn’t like you.  You can respond by saying “you will feel that way sometimes, and it’s ok.”  You might elaborate at other times by saying, “I will teach what you need to know (or keep you safe, healthy, etc.) even if it makes you angry.”

Carolyn Gatzke
Parent Coach
M.A., Human Development

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